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The Perfectly Imperfect Pursuit to Know Yourself

Welcome, fellow seekers of truth and sanity! I'm embarking on a nine-part newsletter journey through the Enneagram and I hope you'll come with me and share these newsletter issues with those who will benefit!

Never heard of it, sweetpea? The enneagram is a delightfully complex map of human motivations.

Over the next few issues, I'll dissect each type with the precision of a surgeon and the humor of Fozzy Bear. (Just don't throw tomatoes at me.) Prepare for insights that will make you nod vigorously, laugh out loud, and maybe even question your entire existence (in a good way, of course).

First up, you can take a test to possibly see what type you are here:

✨ Paid version ($20): www.enneagraminstitute.com​
✨ Free version: www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test​

If you already KNOW your Enneagram type, I'd LOVE to hear from you as we go through this series. I am a type 3, but more accurately a 3Wing2. (If you have no idea what that means, it's ok. There are opportunities to learn if you want. Hit me up in this email, or click the link, to schedule a FREE Clarity Call.)

Today I'm diving headfirst into the world of the Reformer, the Perfectionist, the… well, you know, the Enneagram Type 1. Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?

The Glorious Agony of Being a Type 1 (And Why Approval Is… Complicated)

Ah, Type 1. The paragon of virtue, the champion of justice, the person who's internally screaming about crooked picture frames and misplaced commas. Ones are the beauties who strive for perfection, not because they're control freaks (okay, maybe a little), but because Ones genuinely believe the world could be a much better place if everyone just followed the rules. Their rules.

The People-Pleasing Paradox:

Here’s the rub: Type 1s have a complicated relationship with people-pleasing. On the surface, it might seem like they're the least likely to care about external approval. After all, Ones are driven by an internal compass that points relentlessly towards "right." But peel back the layers of their meticulously organized lives, and you'll find a deep, often unconscious, longing for validation.

Why? Because for a Type 1 their Rude Brain Inner Critic is a relentless beast. It whispers (or shouts, depending on the day) that they are never good enough. So, Ones seek external approval as a temporary balm for the wounded inner child. If everyone else thinks they're doing a fantastic job, maybe, just maybe, they can silence that nagging voice for a hot minute.

The Sassy Truth:

Let’s be real, though. Ones are not your average people-pleasers. They're not going to bend over backwards to avoid conflict. Ones are going to correct your grammar, point out the logical fallacies in your arguments, and gently (or not so gently) suggest a better way to do things.

It’s not that they're trying to be difficult—okay, maybe a little—it’s just that Ones have high standards, and believe everyone else should too. (I am a 3, but I have a lot of 1 in me, too.)

The Wisdom Drop:

Here’s the hard-won wisdom Type 1's glean from years of internal battles:

• Your approval is not the antidote to their inner critic. External validation is fleeting. True self-acceptance comes from within.
• Perfection is a myth. Chasing it is like trying to catch a unicorn in a hurricane. It’s exhausting and ultimately futile.
• Good enough is often better than perfect. Letting go of the need for absolute perfection allows One's to enjoy the present moment and actually get things done.
• It's okay to be imperfect. Ones are, after all, human. They can still strive for improvement without needing to be flawless.
• Ones are allowed to have fun. We are allowed to relax. We are allowed to not be perfect.

The Call to Action (For Type 1s and Everyone Else):

• Type 1s: Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Practice self-compassion. And for the love of all that is holy, learn to laugh at yourself.
• Everyone else: Be patient with the Type 1s in your life. They mean well, even when pointing out the dust bunnies under your couch. And remember, a well-placed compliment can go a long way, but don't expect it to change their core.

Remember, Type 1s are a work in progress (just like all of us.) They're like a fine wine—complex, occasionally bitter, but ultimately, quite satisfying. And if you disagree, well, you might just have to agree to disagree… politely, of course. (But they'll still be right.)

Stay tuned for next week’s adventure, where I delve into the heart of the Helper, Enneagram Type 2. Until then, keep striving for BOLD excellence, but remember to breathe. And maybe straighten that picture frame. It’s really bothering your Type 1 friends.

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Comma Chaos & Imperfect Coaching: How I Liberated a Type 1 (& Encouraged My Soul in the Process)

"Alright, Brooke*, deep breaths. In, out. Like you're inhaling the scent of a perfectly organized spice rack." I smiled, though I knew she’d be internally correcting my analogy. Brooke, bless her heart, was a textbook One. Every hair in place, every word precise, every deadline met, or else.

Me? I’m a 3 with a 2 wing. My life often has a highlight reel, but on this particular day, my life left me feeling… what’s the word? A little empty. Like I was living without any soul to what I was doing.

Brooke, though, she was a soul in a steel trap. A beautiful, meticulously crafted steel trap. She came to me because, despite her flawless exterior, she was… miserable. The eternal "not good enough" mantra was her inner soundtrack, and it was playing on repeat, loud and clear. (I could SO relate -- but sometimes it's easier to deal with other people's mess rather than my own.)

"So, Brooke," I continued, leaning forward, flashing my most encouraging smile, "tell me about this 'imperfection' that's causing you so much distress."

She sighed, a sound that could have been mistaken for a deflating tire. "It's… it's my book. The formatting. The title. My editor insists on having a comma in it, but the comma is out of place. It's… unacceptable."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes a little bit at her dramatics. "Brooke, darling, the world won't implode because of a comma. Trust me, I’ve tried to make it explode before, and it simply won’t."

She glared, a look that could curdle milk. "It's not about the comma, it's about the principle. Standards matter."

"Oh, standards," I purred, tilting my head. "Yes, standards. Like, the standard of actually enjoying the experience of getting to publish your first book? Because, Brooke, you look like you’re about to spontaneously combust from stress."

She shifted uncomfortably. "I just want to do things right. It matters to do things the right way. It matters to be right."

"Right, measured by what masterpiece? I only know one perfect person, Brooke. Jesus. If a perfect creative piece other than him existed, it'd be a finger painting done by a toddler, with most of the paint on the floor and the dog."

I could see her Rude Brain revving its engine, ready to launch a full-scale attack. But I’d learned a thing or two about Ones. You can’t fight them with logic. You have to appeal to their… well, their humanity.

"Brooke," I said, softening my tone, "when was the last time you did something just for the joy of it? For your pleasure? Something that didn’t involve a checklist or doing it a certain way? The perfectly right way?"

She blinked, clearly taken aback. "I… I don’t know."

"Exactly," I said, laying my hand on hers. "See, Brooke, you're so busy chasing perfection, you’re missing out on the messy, beautiful chaos of life. You’re missing out on… you."

I watched her face, the rigid lines slowly softening. I knew I'd hit a nerve. My 2 wing was practically humming with satisfaction. I could see the light flicker in her eyes, the beginning of a realization. (THIS IS WHY I COACH! FOR THIS MOMENT!)

"What if… what if I allowed myself to make mistakes?" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"What if you did?" I countered, leaning in with a smile of pride at her willingness to shift. "What if you embraced the glorious imperfection of being human? What if you let go of the need to control everything and just… lived?"

She looked at me, a flicker of something like hope in her eyes. "But… what if I fail?" (Oooof. That hit my 3.)

"Brooke," I said (to both her and myself), "failure is a stepping stone to fabulous. Trust me, you’ll look amazing stepping on stones."

She laughed, a small, hesitant sound that was music to my ears. It wasn't the perfectly polished laugh of someone trying too hard, but it was real. And in that moment, I knew I’d done my job.

As she left my favorite coffee shop where I often meet clients for a session, I felt a strange sense of… satisfaction. Not the kind that comes from someone telling me good job or applause after a speaking engagement. But a deeper, more authentic kind.

Maybe, just maybe, I found my own soul assignment and calling in my life. And maybe, just maybe, I was finally starting to embody the belief I've tried to hold that real success wasn’t about perfection, but about authentic connection. And maybe, just maybe, I was finally learning how to be really real with myself. And that, darling, was a "performance" worth giving.

*name changed for privacy

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Bold Challenge Questions

These questions are designed for Type 1's to Self-Reflect through journaling:

What if 'right' isn't a fixed point, but a constantly evolving journey? How would that challenge your need for external validation?

When you criticize others, are you projecting your own internal critic onto them, seeking a distorted form of approval by being 'correct'?

If no one ever saw your meticulously crafted 'right' actions, would you still do them? Or is the applause as important as the principle?

You demand perfection from others, but are you secretly hoping they'll validate your own 'perfect' efforts? Be honest.

These questions are for those who might love and care for a Type 1:

How do you navigate disagreements with a Type 1 without triggering their sense of 'right' and 'wrong'? What strategies have you found effective?

When they're stressed or overwhelmed, do you know how to offer support that doesn't feel like criticism or an attempt to 'fix' them?

How can you use your relationship with a Type 1 to develop your own patience, understanding, and acceptance of imperfection?

Are you willing to challenge your own assumptions about 'right' and 'wrong' in order to better understand their perspective?

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​Snag a FREE 45-minute "Clarity Call" with yours truly, and let's excavate the fabulous you buried under layers of "shoulds." ​

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Be Boldly You!

I see you, Gorgeous.

-Bri💋

Brianna L. George

Boldly live out loud as your authentic self.💋

​BriannaLGeorge.com​

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