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The Perfectly Imperfect Pursuit to Know Yourself: Type 5 - Investigator

Welcome back, fellow Enneagram explorers! A few days late in releasing this issue due to the severe weather here in Middle Tennessee, but here we go! We’ve navigated the emotional landscapes of the 1, 2, 3, and 4. Now, we’re venturing into the realm of the Investigator, the Observer, the ever-so-knowledgeable Type 5. Ready for intellectual stimulation, a sprinkle of social awkwardness, and maybe a gentle nudge to emerge from your study and join the rest of us? I hope so! Let's go!

If you aren't sure which type you are, you can take a test here:

✨ Paid version ($20): www.enneagraminstitute.com​
✨ Free version: www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test​

If you already KNOW your Enneagram type, I'd LOVE to hear from you as we go through this series. I am a type 3, but more accurately a 3Wing2. (If you have no idea what that means, it's ok. There are opportunities to learn if you want. Hit me up in this email, or click the link, to schedule a FREE Clarity Call.)

Issue 5: The Investigator's Quest (And the Fear of Being "Incompetent") - Enneagram Type 5: "I'll Observe You... From a Safe Distance."

Ah, the Enneagram 5. I love the 5's in my life. One of my closer male friends is a 5. My 5 readers, you are the embodiment of intellect, the master of analysis, the one who knows more about obscure topics than anyone else. You're insightful and independent. Important to note that you value your privacy... but beneath that calm exterior, there's a deep, often unspoken, fear of being seen as incompetent or incapable. Thus all that knowledge collecting.

The People-Pleasing Paradox: The Quest for Knowledge (and Avoidance of Social Interaction)

Type 5s, you are the champions of intellectual independence. Your sense of self-worth is often tied to your knowledge and understanding of the world. You strive for mastery, not just for the personal satisfaction, but also for the security and control that comes with being prepared.

Why? Because when we get to the nitty-gritty of it, you need to feel competent and self-sufficient. And in a world that often demands social interaction, it’s easier to retreat into your mind than to risk being seen as inadequate.

The Sassy Truth: Your Brain Isn't a Fortress

Look, we get it. You love your independence, your research, and your solitude. But sometimes, you need to ask yourself, "Am I seeking knowledge, independence, and quiet for its own sake, or am I hiding from the world?" And let's face facts, sometimes you're so busy analyzing (judging) everything and everyone, you forget to actually live.

Hard truth time...your worth is not defined by how much you know. And no, your happiness isn't contingent on having all the answers or never being wrong.

The Wisdom Drop: Beyond Library Walls (or Just Walls in General)

• Knowledge is power, but it's not the only source of security. Relationships, experiences, and emotional intelligence are just as important -- honestly maybe even more -- what are you DOING with all that knowledge? Wisdom is what matters more these days.
• It's okay to ask for help. You don't have to know everything. In fact, admitting you don't know something can be a sign of strength and wisdom.
• Share your knowledge with others. It's a gift, not a commodity to be hoarded. Teaching & sharing vulnerably can solidify your (and others') understanding by creating meaningful connections.
• Experience is the best teacher. Get out of your head and into the world. You might be surprised by what you learn.
• True connection isn't built on intellectual superiority. It's built on vulnerability and shared experiences. Be wise, not just knowledgeable.

The Call to Action (For Type 5s and Everyone Else):

• Type 5s: Practice engaging with the world. Learn to share your knowledge and ask for help. And for the love of all that is logical, stop overthinking social interactions. They're not as complicated as you think. (Okay, maybe they are a little.)
• Everyone else: Appreciate the Type 5s in your life. But also gently encourage them to step out of their comfort zone. Give them space to think, but don’t let them isolate themselves completely.

Remember, Type 5s, you are more than logical pursuits. You are a whole, complex, and wonderful human being. And yes, you deserve to be respected for your knowledge. But true respect comes from connecting with others, making mistakes, and vulnerably sharing with other people -- not just observing them.

So, go ahead, close your books for a while and join the conversation. And if you need to bring a whiteboard to explain your thoughts, well, we'll allow it. Just try to keep it under five bullet points and not so logical you lose the rest of us feelers.

Next week we'll explore the loyal (and sometimes anxious) world of the Loyalist, Enneagram Type 6. Until then, keep BOLDLY learning, but remember to look up from your books every now and then. And maybe, just maybe, try having a conversation without citing a research paper. You might actually enjoy it.

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The Untapped Human: Helping a Five Navigate the Messy World of Feelings

"Okay, Liam*," I said, adjusting my Zoom camera to catch the perfect angle of my own face, "let's talk about 'connection.' You know, that fuzzy, illogical thing that makes humans do… human things."

Liam, a classic logical Five, stared back at me through the screen, his expression as blank as a freshly formatted spreadsheet. He wasn't a researcher, per se, but he approached every interaction like a data analysis project. "Define 'fuzzy,'" he deadpanned.

"Oh, boy, Liam," I sighed and grinned "you're killing me, man. Fuzzy is… feelings. Warmth. Shared laughter. The kind of thing you can't quantify with logical thought."

Liam blinked. "I like logic. It can be trusted."

"Of course you do," I smiled and nodded. "Liam, you came to me because you have what you call a… connection deficit, especially with women. You're handsome, brilliant, logical, and could probably build a robot that writes sonnets, but when it comes to actual human interaction, you're basically a dial-up modem in a fiber-optic world."

He shifted uncomfortably. "I prefer to think of myself as… efficient."

"Efficient at alienating potential women partners?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow. "Liam, women don't want a logical algorithm; they want someone who can make them laugh, make them feel seen, make them feel… fuzzy."

"Fuzzy," he repeated, as if tasting unpleasant medicine.

"Yes, fuzzy!" I exclaimed. "You live in your head. It's a lovely place, I'm sure, all organized and logical. But the real world, Liam, it's messy. It's emotional. It's… well, it's a rom-com, not a documentary."

I paused, softening my tone. "Here's the thing, Liam. You're not broken. You're just… underdeveloped in the emotional department. And that's okay. We can work on that. We can teach you how to access your inner… human."

"How?" he asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

"First," I said, pen in hand and notebook ready to write notes, "we're going to ditch the spreadsheets and embrace more spontaneity. We're going to learn how to flirt, how to make small talk, how to actually listen to what a woman is saying instead of just analyzing her data points. The goal is to hear her emotions and also share your emotions bravely and vulnerably to feel your actual feelings. We'll do some somatic work to help you identify feelings and where and how they show up in your body -- and to help you develop more awareness."

"Flirt?" he asked, his eyes widening slightly. "Is there an instruction manual for that? I don't know how to flirt."

"Yes, flirt, Liam." I said, flashing my most dazzling smile. "There will be a manual. We're going to create the 'Liam's Guide to Fuzzy.' And trust me, it's going to be a bestseller," I winked.

Over the next few weeks, we had a series of… unconventional coaching sessions. We role-played awkward dates, we analyzed romantic comedies, and we worked on awareness of sensations in the body, what they looked like, felt like, colors, shapes, etc...

And slowly, Liam began to… thaw. He started to make eye contact, he started to laugh (a surprisingly charming sound), grow in confidence, and he even managed to tell a joke that didn't include a deadpan expression.

During our last session, he logged into Zoom with a slightly flustered expression. "I… I talked to a woman at a coffee shop," he announced.

"And?" I asked, leaning forward, my Two-wing tingling with anticipation.

"And," he said, a small smile playing on his lips, "it was… 'fuzzy.' She laughed at my jokes. She seemed… interested."

"Liam," I said, beaming, "you did it! You accessed your inner human."

As he signed off, I felt a surge of satisfaction. I love it when someone finds their way, when another soul navigates the messy, beautiful chaos of human connection -- AND wins. I always learn a little something about myself in the process. After all, even a Three with a Two wing can appreciate the occasional dose of… "fuzzy."

*name changed for privacy

Bold Challenge Questions

Alright, let's dissect the Enneagram 5's relationship with external approval, and throw in some bold challenges:

When you withdraw, is it to recharge, or to avoid the messy, unpredictable world of human interaction and potential judgment?

If you stopped seeking knowledge as a form of security, what would you discover about your deeper emotional needs?

If you were forced to engage emotionally with others, without the buffer of intellectualization, would you feel exposed? And what does that exposure reveal?

Are you more afraid of being seen as ignorant, or of being seen as emotionally vulnerable?

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Getting real about the challenges of loving and caring for an Enneagram Type 5:

When your Type 5 loved one withdraws, do you interpret it as rejection, or do you respect their need for space and solitude?

How do you encourage them to step outside their comfort zone and engage in social activities without making them feel pressured?

How can you use your relationship with a Type 5 to develop your own patience, understanding, and respect for boundaries?

What are you learning about yourself and your own relationship patterns through your connection with a Type 5?

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Craving More Challenge?

Subscribe to my YouTube channel and dare to watch (new and old) "Boldly Driven Conversations with Bri" episode(s.) No new episode this last week due to severe storms and flooding in my area, but here are a couple of my favorite episodes that go long with this week's topic.

Beauty and danger of mirroring for validation

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Gratitude is the foundation of connection; Not our thoughts, our emotions, or our choices

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Spring is here!

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Your favorite self is waiting for you to discover them!

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Be Boldly You!

I see you, Gorgeous.

-Bri💋

Brianna L. George

Boldly live out loud as your authentic self.💋

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