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The Perfectly Imperfect Pursuit to Know Yourself: Type 6 - The Loyalist

Hey Hey, my fellow Enneagram nerds! We’ve journeyed through the realms of perfection, nurturing, achievement, individuality, and intellect. Now, we're stepping into the world of the Loyalist, the Skeptic, the ever-so-prepared Type 6. Prepare for a dose of reassurance, a sprinkle of "what if" scenarios, and maybe a gentle nudge to trust your gut (and not just your backup plan).

If you aren't sure which type you are, you can take a test here:

✨ Paid version ($20): www.enneagraminstitute.com​
✨ Free version: www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test​

If you already KNOW your Enneagram type, I'd LOVE to hear from you as we go through this series. I am a type 3, but more accurately a 3Wing2. (If you have no idea what that means, it's ok. There are opportunities to learn if you want. Hit me up in this email, or click the link, to schedule a FREE Clarity Call.)

Issue 6: The Loyalist's Dilemma (And the Fear of Being "Unsupported") - Enneagram Type 6: "Are You Sure? Are You Really Sure?"

Ah, the Enneagram 6. The embodiment of loyalty, the master of contingency planning, the one who's always prepared for the worst case scenarios in situations, relationships, and life in general. You're responsible, supportive, and you value security. Beneath that vigilant exterior, though, there's a deep (often unspoken) fear of being unsupported or betrayed.

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The People-Pleasing Paradox: The Quest for Security (and the Need for Reassurance)

Type 6s, you are the champions of loyalty and preparedness. Your sense of self-worth is often mistakenly tied to your ability to anticipate and mitigate potential risks. You strive for security, not just for personal safety but also for the reassurance and support that comes from being part of a trusted relationship.

Why? Because you need to feel safe and supported by others. And in a world that often feels unpredictable, it’s easier to seek external validation than to trust your own instincts because you might get it wrong, and then your self-worth plummets.

If someone you trust with your security does make a mistake that you feel threatens your safety, you feel abandoned and betrayed. The truth is that you need a self-worth overhaul!

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The Sassy Truth: Your Brain Is a "What If" Factory

You love your checklists, your backup plans, and your trusted advisors. Can I be honest with you for a minute? Sometimes, you need to ask yourself, "Am I seeking security, or am I avoiding uncertainty?" And let's face it, uncertainty is unavoidable if you are going to live a bold life! Sometimes, you're so busy worrying about what might go wrong that you forget to appreciate what's going right -- RIGHT NOW!

Here's the hard truth: your worth is not defined by how many potential disasters you've averted. And no, your happiness isn't contingent on having absolute certainty. You need to RISK to live a little.

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The Wisdom Drop: Beyond the "What Ifs"

Trust yourself. You are stronger and more capable than you think. When you learn to trust yourself, risk is not so risky.

Not everyone is out to get you. People (for the most part) are good, even if they don't always agree with you.

Courage is not the absence of fear. It's acting despite fear. Embrace the discomfort of uncertainty -- just a smidge.

Find a supportive community, but don't rely on others for all your answers. You have your own inner compass. Use it.

True connection isn't built on shared anxieties. It's built on trust and mutual support. No more co-dependency.

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The Call to Action (For Type 6s and Everyone Else)

Type 6s: Practice trusting your gut in small ways. Learn to embrace uncertainty. And for the love of all that is predictable, stop asking for reassurance every five minutes. You CAN trust yourself. Stop believing the lie that you, your heart, your instincts, etc... are untrustworthy.

Everyone else: Appreciate the Type 6s in your life. But also gently encourage them to trust their own judgment. Give them space to express their concerns, but don’t indulge their anxieties.

Remember you are more than your anxieties. You are a whole, complex, and wonderful human being who needs someone to help you risk a little. And yes, you deserve to feel safe and supported, but true security comes from within, not just from external sources that you continuously seek as safety. So, go ahead, take a deep breath and BOLDLY trust yourself. And if you need to double-check the locks, well, we'll allow it. Just remember to enjoy the peace of mind that safety gives you once you're done.

Next, I explore the adventurous (and sometimes scattered) world of the Enthusiast, Enneagram Type 7. Until then, keep questioning, but remember to trust your instincts every now and then. And maybe, just maybe, try going with the flow, which feels like a big risk. You might be surprised by how much fun you have, though, not worrying ALL. THE. TIME.

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Now that you have experienced the first 6 enneagrams, here is a fun video that may resonate about the 9 types I have been sharing about these last 6 weeks. ENJOY!

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From Zombie Apocalypse Prep to Real-Life Boldness: Coaching One Text at a Time

My phone buzzed, another message from Chloe*. "Okay, so... 'living boldly.' Define that. Like, I should wear mismatched socks to the grocery store living boldly, or, you know, speak to a man at the coffee shop boldly?"

I sighed, scrolling through our chat history. Chloe, bless her anxious heart, was my Enneagram Six Online friend/client/acquaintance. She is loyal to a fault, prepared for every conceivable disaster (including a zombie apocalypse, apparently), but utterly paralyzed by the thought of stepping outside her meticulously constructed safety comfort zone. Zoom? Too exposing. In-person? Forget about it. Messenger was her fortress, and I, her slightly exasperated but ultimately empathetic guide.

"Chloe, girl!" I typed back, my thumbs flying across the screen, "living boldly is ordering the spiciest thing on the menu, even if your stomach stages a revolt later, because you want to try it. Boldly is saying 'yes' to that pottery class your friend invited you to, even if you envision yourself sucking at pottery. Boldly is... maybe even smiling at that cute barista fella you have told me about several times now."

I see the dots on messenger bounce telling me she is responding. A pause. Then: "But... what if the spicy food gives me indigestion and I spill red clay glaze all over myself or trip and break my vase, and what if Todd* (the barista) thinks I'm weird?"

Ah, the Six brain. A magnificent engine of "what ifs," tirelessly churning out every possible negative outcome. It was exhausting just reading it, and I, a Three with a Two wing, thrived on efficiency and positive results. But Chloe's vulnerability, her desperate yearning for connection despite her fear, tugged at my heartstrings. I really wanted to help her.

"Chloe, honey," I typed "we need to turn around all these 'what if's.' What's the worst that could happen? Truly... So, what if you have a little tummy trouble? Tomorrow is Saturday. You have the day off to rest."

'"What if' you create a modern art masterpiece in clay and discover a new hobby you love AND make a new friend by taking the risk of going to the class? "

'"What if' Todd *gasp* smiles back, or maybe he's having a bad day and doesn't. OR maybe that smile you give helps him have a better day? Either way, the world keeps spinning and you did the thing -- BOLDLY."

No response. No more dots fly across my screen. Silence. This was her internal parts committee meeting together, I knew it. Every worst-case scenario was being debated, voted on, and likely amplified.

I waited.

After several minutes, I saw the dots start to bounce again and stop.

"Community." She finally typed.

More dots bounced...

"That's what I want. I see other women laughing together, sharing things... and I feel like I'm watching a movie through a soundproof window."

That hit me hard. The loneliness beneath the anxiety. The yearning for belonging that fear kept locked away. My Three brain kicked in, strategizing. My Two wing felt the pangs of empathy.

"Okay, Operation: Human Connection is a go," I typed back, injecting some much-needed enthusiasm. "Baby steps, my friend. We're not going to throw you into a crowded pub on karaoke night just yet. How about this: what if you joined that online book club you mentioned? You can participate from the safety of your sofa, but you'll be engaging with real people over a shared interest. Baby Step 1. "

A hesitant "Maybe..." popped up. Progress!

"And," I continued, a mischievous glint in my virtual eye, "if anyone gives you grief about your insightful literary interpretations, I'll personally craft a sassy meme defending your honor and send it to the entire group."

A tiny laughing emoji appeared. Victory, of sorts.

Over the next few weeks, our messenger sessions became a lifeline for Chloe. We navigated the treacherous waters of online interaction, celebrated small victories (a brave comment in the book club!), and dissected her anxieties with a blend of gentle encouragement and my signature sassy realism.

It wasn't the fast-paced, visually dynamic coaching I usually preferred. But watching Chloe slowly, tentatively, poke holes in her fortress of fear, witnessing her courage bloom in the quiet anonymity of text, was surprisingly rewarding. My inner Three still craved results, but my Two wing was learning the power of patience, the beauty of small steps.

One day, a message popped up: "I think I'd like to Zoom with you this week during our session."

My thumbs hovered over the keyboard, ready with a barrage of enthusiastic emojis and encouraging words. But instead, I just typed: "Let's do it."

Sometimes, the boldest move isn't a grand leap, but a tiny, hesitant step into the Zoom ring light. And sometimes, the best coaching is simply being a steady presence in the digital shadows, offering a little bit of sass and a whole lot of belief. Even if it's just through the glow of a phone screen.

*name changed for privacy

Bold Challenge Questions

Let's get to the heart of your Enneagram 6 need for loyalty and people-pleasing ways with some bold challenges:

If all your trusted authorities suddenly vanished, would you still know what you believe and how to act? Or is your 'loyalty' sometimes a way to avoid making your own decisions?

What if true security comes from trusting your own inner guidance rather than constantly seeking external validation and approval?

If you stopped trying to please everyone and instead focused on aligning with your own inner values, what might shift in your life?

Can you distinguish between genuine loyalty to a cause or person and a fear-based need to belong and be accepted?

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For you who bravely love and care for our vigilant Enneagram Type 6s, here are some bold challenge questions:

When your Type 6 loved one is expressing anxieties, are you truly listening to understand their specific fears, or are you trying to immediately reassure them (which can sometimes feel dismissive)?

Are you aware of their deep need for security and how different situations might trigger their sense of unsafety? How do you create a consistently reliable environment for them?

How do you encourage them to take risks and step outside their comfort zone without dismissing their legitimate fears?

Are you willing to challenge your own assumptions about 'safety' and 'trust' in order to better understand their perspective?

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Craving More Challenge?

Subscribe to my YouTube channel and dare to watch (new and old) "Boldly Driven Conversations with Bri" episode(s.) This week I share an effective strategy for responding to someone who gaslights you.

Stop Second Guessing Yourself: How to Effectively Respond to Gaslighting

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Spring is here!

Are you ready to stop playing small and actually do something good for yourself?

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Your favorite self is waiting for you to discover them!

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Ready to ditch the struggle and unleash your inner badass?

If you're craving personalized support and ready to level up your life, let's chat.

Click here for 1:1 coaching info.

Click here to schedule a Bold Beginning Chat with Brianna: Bold Beginning Chat ​

Let's make some magic happen. ✨

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Be Boldly You!

I see you, Gorgeous.

-Bri💋

Brianna L. George

Boldly live out loud as your authentic self.💋

​BriannaLGeorge.com​

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