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The Perfectly Imperfect Pursuit to Know Yourself: Type 7 - The Enthusiast

We're in the home stretch with only a couple weeks left of my 9-part Enneagram Series. So far, in the last 6 weeks, we have journeyed through the realms of perfection, nurturing, achievement, individuality, intellect, and last week, loyalty. This week, I dive headfirst into the world of the Enthusiast, the Adventurer, the ever-so-optimistic Type 7. This week, you will learn how sevens need a constant dose of spontaneous fun, a sprinkle of avoidance tactics, and maybe a gentle nudge to stay in the present moment (just for a little while).

If you aren't sure which type you are, you can take a test here:

✨ Paid version ($20): www.enneagraminstitute.com​
✨ Free version: www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test​

If you already KNOW your Enneagram type, I'd LOVE to hear from you as we begin the home stretch of this series. I am a type 3, but more accurately a 3Wing2. (If you have no idea what that means, it's ok. There are opportunities to learn if you want by reading the previous newletters. Hit up the links above for each number or you can click this link, to schedule a FREE Clarity Call.)

Issue 7: The Enthusiast's Adventure (And the Fear of Being "Trapped") - Enneagram Type 7: "So Many Options! Which One Should I Avoid Settling On?"

Ah, the Enneagram 7. The embodiment of zest for life, the master of possibilities, the one who sees endless opportunities. You're energetic, optimistic, and you value freedom. But if we are going to be authentic about your sevenness, beneath that cheerful exterior, there's a deep, often unspoken, fear of being trapped or limited.

The People-Pleasing Paradox: The Quest for Stimulation (and the Avoidance of Pain)

Type 7s, you are the champions of positive experiences. Your sense of self-worth is often tied to your ability to create and enjoy exciting opportunities. You strive for stimulation, not just for personal enjoyment but also for the distraction and avoidance of actually feeling your negative feelings.

Why? Because you need to feel unburdened and hold much value for Freedom, and in a society that demands commitment and responsibility, it’s easier to chase the next thrill than to confront your own "inner demons."

The Sassy Truth: Your Brain Is a Fireworks Display

You love your adventures and your spontaneous trips. You have an endless stream of ideas. (So many of them are really, really good!) But, sometimes, you need to ask yourself, "Am I seeking excitement, and that's why I am doing this new thing, or am I running from something, and that's why I haven't finished the other new thing I started a short time ago?" Truth bomb: Sometimes, you're so busy chasing the next shiny object that you forget to appreciate the ones you already have. What helps this? Gratitude!

Here's the hard truth, my seven readers: your worth is not defined by how many experiences you've had. And no, your happiness isn't contingent on having a constant stream of new adventures.

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The Wisdom Drop: Beyond Your Next Big Thing

You can't avoid pain forever. You know this. You've experienced it, and THAT is why you run, but Honey, pain is a part of life, and it can lead to growth and depth -- if you allow it!

Find joy in the present moment. Stop chasing the next big thing and appreciate the beauty of what's right in front of you. Start a daily gratitude practice by naming three things/people/situations you are grateful for in your present moment.

Commitment can be liberating. It's not the same as being trapped. It can create a sense of stability and belonging. It's time to trust again.

Depth is more satisfying than breadth. Go deep into meaningful experiences rather than just skimming the surface of many. You have no idea the true BOLD experiences you are missing, my friends!

True connection isn't built on shared distractions. It's built on vulnerability and shared experiences, even the difficult ones. Feel the feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones, and share them with someone you trust.

The Call to Action (For Type 7s and Everyone Else):

Type 7s: Practice staying in the present through gratitude. Learn to embrace the mundane truly. And for the love of all that is fun, stop running from your feelings; they are just pointers, not a death sentence.

Everyone else: Appreciate the Type 7s in your life by gently encouraging them to slow down and connect with their emotions (and others.) Give them space to explore, try new things, and take risks, but don’t let them avoid responsibility.

My energetic Type 7s, you are more than your boundless enthusiasm and joy-joy personality. You are a whole, complex, and wonderful human who deserves to have fun and experience the full spectrum of life. True fun comes from embracing all aspects of life, not just the exciting ones. So, plan your next BOLD adventure, but take a moment to appreciate and enjoy the journey with all the ups, downs, and sideways places life will take you.

And if you need to bring a party to every situation, well, OK. Just remember to finish this first party by cleaning up afterward before you start the next.

With only two more weeks to go, it's about time that I explore the powerful (and oftentimes intimidating) world of the Challenger, Enneagram Type 8. These guys are sometimes difficult for me, personally. I have had a hard time with a few 8's as a 3W2 and will share a story next week about one situation. Until then, keep exploring, but remember to plant some roots and maybe, just maybe, try finishing a project before starting a new one. You might be surprised by how satisfying it is.

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The Long Game of Grief: How Friendship (& Nagging) Helped My 7 Friend Find Her Way

"So, another coffee refill?" I asked, gesturing to the waiting French Press coffee pot in the middle of the table. (We had already refilled once before during our weekly one-hour conversation.) Lisa*, bless her scattered, shiny-object-loving heart, was a coffee addict like me. We were meeting in her apartment, where we had met a few years prior at an event I was hosting at the complex (and used to live at myself.) Her apartment looked beautifully curated (just like mine did) – perfectly on-brand for both of us, albeit with different styles.

"Definitely," Lisa chirped, her eyes already scanning her phone for the next source of amusement. "Caffeine consumption is my superpower, remember? It helps me 'do all the things,' as you say," she smiled, her eyes intent on her phone.

I took a sip of my steaming cup and breathed with a grin, "And avoidance is your Olympic sport, my friend. As I said before, running from icky feelings doesn't make them disappear, Lisa. It just means they're throwing a bigger, uglier party in your subconscious, Girl."

She waved a dismissive hand. "Eh, I'm over it. 12 years, Brianna. 12 years of him not being honest. So, I'm saying Fu*k him and moving on. I don't need to feel through it. I've felt enough these last 12 years. Besides, it's just like not watching the end of a bad movie I decided halfway through I didn't like."

"It's not a movie, Lisa. It's a life. Your life. And separating is a big deal. It's okay to feel the sadness, the confusion, even the anger." My Three-brain wanted to fix it, to offer a five-step plan to emotional liberation. My Two wing just wanted to hug her until she felt safe and actually share her feelings about all that was going on.

"Sadness? Please. I'm embracing my freedom! I'm ready for new experiences! I'm going to travel more! I am going to see things and go places he wouldn't go. I don't need him. He can't stop me now." She was half paying attention to me now and looking up hiking trails in the Smoky Mountains in East Tennessee.

"What I am hearing is avoidance," I said gently. "Those shiny new experiences are tempting to just soothe the chaos going on inside, I get it. But you’re using them to try to outrun the pain. You need to actually feel it, Lisa. Process it. Otherwise, it's just gonna pop up like a whack-a-mole in your next relationship or during your 'exciting' solo trip on the Appalachian trail." I gestured toward her phone screen.

She put the phone down and fiddled with the napkins on the table, folding them into stars. "But it feels… heavy. I can't take any more heavy. I've had 12 years of heavy."

"Yeah, it does," I acknowledged. "But you can change the narrative by stopping pretending it's not there to begin with, Lisa. Talk about stuff going on with someone you trust. Cry about it. Scream into a pillow. Whatever you need to do." My coaching instincts were kicking in, the urge to provide solutions battling with the need for a simple, empathetic presence as her friend.

"You make it sound so… unpleasant. Feeling isn't supposed to be unpleasant," she grimaced.

"It is unpleasant when there are negative feelings about things," I said honestly. "But they're also necessary to feel and process. It's how you heal. It's how you learn. It's how you move forward without dragging all that unprocessed baggage with you."

She finally looked at me, the usual sparkle in her eyes dimmed with a flicker of something deeper. "You always make it sound so… logical, even when it's about feelings."

I smiled wryly. "Even feelings have a purpose and need a strategy. They are pointers to something deeper that we need to address."

Her heavy sigh filled the room.

5 years later, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled my sun-drenched RV. I scrolled social media and came upon a picture of Lisa, now in her forties, a comfortable contentment radiating from her face. She was remarried to a warm, grounded man who somehow managed to keep up with her whirlwind energy and ideas. She has a successful business. She bought a house.

I hadn't talked to her in a while I realized... a long while. I messaged her "Congratulations on the marriage and the house", asking how she was feeling about things lately.

"Remember those old apartment days? You were so relentlessly… sensible about the whole feelings thing," she messaged back with a winky emoji.

"Someone had to be," I replied with a winky emoji back. "You were determined to bungee jump your way out of grief."

"Well, your sensible nagging eventually sank in -- after the extreme hikes and bungee jump," she admitted. "I finally started screaming into pillows and felt things, which was surprisingly effective."

"I love it," I typed back, a genuine warmth spreading through me. My nagging, or what I call my persistent nudges towards emotional honesty, seemed to pay off.

"You really helped me, you know, during that time" she said, the dots continuing to bounce as she typed more. "Learning that my negative feelings weren't monsters to be avoided, but… signals, pointers as you say. They are information. And that actually dealing with them, even the heavy stuff, didn't mean the fun had to stop."

"Exactly. You just learned to pack a lighter suitcase for your new adventures -- remarried, new house, thriving business. So, so proud of you, Girl!"

Coaching isn't about fixing a friend or anyone else. It is about helping people find their own way to navigate the messy, beautiful reality of being human, even the parts that don't come with flashing lights and a catchy soundtrack. And sometimes, it's about appreciating the quiet victory of a friend who has finally found her peace.

*name changed for privacy

Bold Challenge Questions

Time to get to the source of the Enneagram 7's relationship with people-pleasing and external approval, with some bold questions:

If you committed to one path, one relationship, or one project, would you feel trapped, or would you discover a deeper sense of fulfillment and self-worth?

Are you more afraid of missing out, or of being seen as anything less than the fun, positive, and exciting person everyone expects you to be?

Is your need to keep things light and positive a way to avoid confronting your own inner pain or the pain of others, which might lead to disapproval or discomfort?

Can you distinguish between genuine optimism and a pattern of minimizing or dismissing negativity to maintain a positive image and keep people pleased?

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For you who bravely love and care for adventure-seeking Enneagram Type 7s, here are some bold challenge questions:

How do you navigate your 7's potential impulsiveness and lack of follow-through without becoming resentful or feeling like you're always cleaning up their messes?

How do you encourage them to commit to plans and relationships without triggering their fear of being tied down?

How do you encourage them to explore their inner world and process their emotions without feeling like you're forcing them to be 'serious'?

How can you use your relationship with a Type 7 to develop your own ability to embrace joy and spontaneity while also maintaining stability and commitment?

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Craving More Challenge?

Subscribe to my YouTube channel and dare to watch (new and old) "Boldly Driven Conversations with Bri" episode(s). This week, I share how to Self-Regulate when we go into Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn due to stress.

Stop Reacting, Start Responding: Master Your Emotions with Self-Regulation

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Be Boldly You!

I see you, Gorgeous.

-Bri💋

Brianna L. George

Boldly live out loud as your authentic self.💋

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